A Sheep’s Tale

I stood. The colors leapt off the shelves in front of me. With my head cocked sideways, my eyes hungrily devoured the vertical titles, one after another. I needed another book like I needed a black eye. Yet, they beckoned.

No, Carolyn will kill me. I don’t need another book. About the time I have fought off the temptation to buy, I noticed his new book. It glowed.

Boy, that looks great! I know full well that I have yet to read his last three on my shelves at home, each as attractively packaged as this beauty two feet away.

Then I did the unthinkable. I retrieved it from its niche, and I opened it. The crisp white pages had a fragrance somewhere between fresh cut grass and a cake right out of the oven. The smooth linear black type marched efficiently across the spread, leaping the gutter effortlessly.

I left the bookstore $15 poorer but happier for the future knowledge I would one day find time to absorb.

As I reflect on that day (and other days like it) in the bookstore, a startling thought sacks my conscious like an angry linebacker. Those books that most appealed to me were a silent indicator of my current frame of mind, my mood, and my attitude. Could a trip to the bookstore really be indicative of how I am? Well, at least that day it did. The books I looked at and the one I purchased told me something. They told me that I hurt.

It is an alarming revelation, and one for which I cannot simply slap the snooze. Not only was I hurt, but I was hurting. Much like that vague awareness you have that the faucet in the kitchen is dripping, I believe I was aware of my hurt, but for whatever reason, I had chosen to be martyred by emotional pain.

This account may or may not be for you. It is a record of my journey. It may or may not echo with familiarity. It’s a multi-faceted story with many twists and turns. It is the story of the lost sheep and his desperate search for his shepherd. It is also the story of the sheep’s failure and the shepherd’s success.

Life was good. I was a seminary student in Fort Worth, Texas, and a minister in a large, metropolitan church. My faith was vibrant and alive. I had a never-a-dull-moment, just-trust-the-Lord, everything-works-out, isn’t-being-a-Christian-exciting outlook on faith and fully expected the next Great Awakening to occur on my watch. My vision was boundless, and my head was in the clouds.

I was so intent on seeing the star of Bethlehem and its glory that I forgot the stigma of the cross and its shame. I knew in my head that bad things happen to good people and sometimes life doesn’t work out like you want it to, but if the rain really did fall on the righteous and wicked alike, I had stayed dry under a relatively large umbrella of idealism. That is, until the phone rang.

I was at my desk at Tolar Baptist Church then. I was the Associate Pastor/Minister of Youth. Carolyn and I had been engaged just a few months.

“Jeff, it’s cancer,” she said as we learned about Hodgkin’s Disease for the first time in our lives. Three months of radiation treatment later, her Hodgkin’s was halted, and the doctors declared my fiancee cancer-free – just in time for our wedding.

I asked God a lot of questions in those days: Why did this happen to us? I had sold a promising advertising business to come to seminary, and this is the reward I get, God? Just show us that we’re on the right path… Thanks for helping us through this, but don’t do this again, OK?

I still tackled my ministry with starry-eyed optimism, but I no longer felt invulnerable. God had allowed life to happen to me. The beginnings of cynicism pitched a pup tent on the outskirts of my consciousness and planned a longer camping trip later.

The Winnebagoes of disillusionment wheeled into my life for a protracted excursion two years later.

The following is an excerpt from my journal on October 31, 1994:

Two days ago, the doctors told us that Carolyn, my wife of two and one-half years, has Hodgkin’s Disease again. Hodgkin’s is cancer of the lymph nodes. We go Saturday at 6 p.m. to get a CAT scan.

The slap of the news is numbing. I had holed up in the library at seminary to digest a dozen different opinions about Paul’s theology before my evening doze, I mean dose, of Systematic Theology. I casually glanced at my Donald Duck watch only to have it quack back at me about my immanent tardiness.

My book bag leapt to my shoulder, as I drained the last of my Diet Caffeine Free Dr. Pepper. I breezed by the pay phone on my way to Scarborough Hall. A faint impression gently nudged me, and I did an about-face, picked up the cool black plastic receiver. Purposeful punches soon rang a phone an hour away in Garland, Texas. My wife answered. I intended simply to see if she needed anything on the way home.

“Hey there, hon,” I said.
“Jeff… hold on.” Her voice was not right, but she clicked over to her other call to say goodbye before I could decipher it. My intuition screamed. Just as suddenly, she was back. And she was sobbing.
“It’s cancer,” she said.

Another phone call with the same script. The cancer was back. I hung up and drove myself downstairs to my car. I had been in the world’s largest theological library. Surely the answer to our sufferings and an intelligent explanation of God’s perspective lay in one of its many volumes, but how do you search for answers when life won’t give you time?

I couldn’t focus on my work at the church, now First Baptist Church of Garland. I had forgotten about the “Basics for New Baptists” class that I was supposed to teach on Wednesday night. Its members were gracious to understand my absence. Thank the Lord it was Friday now. Surely the weekend would help me catch my breath and my bearings.

I sat at my desk, straightening it again when thunder clapped. The antique car that was a pencil sharpener clinked as the rumbling vibrations intruded into my office. Channel 4 had been right – a severe thunderstorm had violated the complacent afternoon and promised to snarl Friday’s rush hour traffic unforgivingly in the metroplex.

By the time I left the church to walk the two blocks to our home, the drenching had slowed to a drizzle. It had been three days since we learned about Carolyn’s cancer.

I stood in the chilling fall rain waiting for the Garland Fire Department. My house was on fire. The gray smoke defied the rain. It billowed from pipes on the roof and seeped from under the eaves. I laughed in disbelief as the relentless drizzle slowly conquered my dry clothes. Was this really happening, I wondered? I thought, “At least this will take our minds off the cancer for a while…”

Two weeks after the fire, three after Carolyn’s diagnosis. With the diligence of Sherlock Holmes, I examine myself emotionally. Nothing. Nada. It’s like staring into a black hole. We were staying at La Quinta Inn, and rather enjoying ourselves. Our insurance agent had taken extra measures to see that we were treated like royalty. Our belongings had been shipped off to a warehouse somewhere in Dallas to be treated for smoke damage. We had found another rental house for less money and were preparing to move in.

It was during this time that I bumped into God. It wasn’t a particular moment. I didn’t burn my hand on a flaming bush. I saw no star. But I felt His presence. He cared. He loved me. And He would see us through the days of transition, chemotherapy, and stress that were to come. He promised. And through circumstance after circumstance, His rod and staff guided me in his ways. His voice was unmistakable.

Though my “tough” questions remained unanswered, I discovered with joyful reassurance that it wasn’t answers I wanted after all, it was Him. My pride had led me to demand my Shepherd work in my prescribed ways. He refused and continued to tend his flock as I, His sheep, wandered.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t leave the faith or curse God. I just began meeting my needs my way instead of letting my shepherd do it. Everything looked fine from others’ viewpoint, but I was lost. I had strayed and didn’t know my way home.

Scripture told me that the Lord was my shepherd and I should not want, or need anything else but Him. When King David wrote that, he was writing after the fact, I was sure. He had found God to be that way. His confidence haunted me. I felt more like, “If the Lord is my shepherd…” I knew he was, but I felt like he wasn’t.

And that’s where my account ends. You may have been expecting some Lucado-type conclusions that would blow your socks off, but it is hard to conclude powerfully when my experience taught me the value of meekness. I learned how to be a sheep. Sheep are meek.

Carolyn was declared cancer-free for the second time after her chemotherapy treatment which ended in July 1995. We live daily in God’s grace that it will not come back. We are expecting our first child in March 1997, a miracle in itself. My confidence in my shepherd is stronger now than ever, not because I found Him to be trustworthy, wonderful, holy, or compassionate, though He is all those things. My confidence is strong not because I found Him to be anything, but because in my confusion and doubt, He found me.

Approval Addiction

I originally wrote this intended to be an interactive Bible study for use in a small group… Hope it’s useful for you in some way…

Take a look at any magazine targeting young adults today. Take a look at the latest sitcom or Hollywood offering. What do you see? What do you notice? If you spend any time at all viewing these, you’ll come away with a couple of things. First of all, our culture is obsessed with sexuality. Bosoms, butts, and “beefcake” dominate the pages and screens of our society. Second, you will also notice the “possession obsession.” Everyone is wrestling to have the latest and the next.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
(Galatians 1.10)

Take a look at any magazine targeting young adults today. Take a look at the latest sitcom or Hollywood offering. What do you see? What do you notice? If you spend any time at all viewing these, you’ll come away with a couple of things. First of all, our culture is obsessed with sexuality. Bosoms, butts, and “beefcake” dominate the pages and screens of our society. Second, you will also notice the “possession obsession.” Everyone is wrestling to have the latest and the next.

What is behind these two rivers of cultural obsession? Though sexual desire is powerful, and man needs some basic things to exist, there is a deeper current that flows beneath these streams. It is the desperate desire of every person to find approval, to know that they are accepted, to be “ok.” How we all long to know that who we are brings another person pleasure, that we are approved! Life would be hopeless and void if we thought we our very existence was insignificant and meaningless.

Listen to one person’s search for meaning… (http://www.his.com/~mmeyerdc/p10.htm)

Is all of life reduced to an “E-ticket”? What would you do if you believed your life didn’t matter? Where would you go to fill the void within you?

And so the rat race is run. People everywhere are desperately trying to fill their lives with things and people in order to find approval and feel like they “matter.” The problem with this race is that it has no finish line. You will never arrive at a point where you feel like you matter or have received deep approval.

Consider Barbara Eden. A recent A&E Biography show detailed her full life. You may know her better as the wish-granter from “I Dream of Genie.” At one point, she rode the clouds of society’s approval as her show sat proudly atop the Nielson ratings. She made the talk show rounds, and was featured on dozens of magazine covers. She was at the pinnacle, having won the approval of a nation.

What would if feel like to achieve this level of approval? This level of fame and wealth?

In spite of this position of affluence and influence, Barbara’s biography revealed a woman who was deeply unhappy. Multiple marriages and a deep struggle with insignificance continued to plague her! Why?

How could someone so successful be so unhappy?

You might as well ask King Solomon, who was far more successful, a shining star on the world stage of his day. He amassed more wealth, honor, and wisdom than any before him, but he discovered that having the approval of the world was:

“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” (Ecclesiastes 1.2)
Solomon discovered that in order to be at peace, there is only one person’s approval that matters:
“…For without Him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God… (Ecclesiastes 2.25-26)

And that is what our nation’s pursuits are missing. That is what the Genie lacked. They all tried to find their approval in men before they found their approval in God. Perhaps St. Augustine said it best: “Our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee.” (from Augustine’s “Confessions”)

Have you ever been caught up in the Rat Race of Approval Seeking? What does it feel like? What do you think about Augustine’s comment?

You might think it’s difficult to earn God’s approval. It might seem easier just to work for the body that the magazines say you ought to have. Or wear the clothes that culture dictates will earn its approval. Or drive the SUV that guarantees a turned-head and an admiring glance. Won’t these get you the approval you crave easier than trying to please God?

The astounding truth of scripture will relieve you. When looking for the first king of Israel, the prophet Samuel tried to pick someone based on how they looked and the impact their appearance would have on others. But he learned that God had a different way of evaluating:

“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1Samuel 16.7)

God doesn’t give his approval based on what you do. How cool is that? You earn God’s approval by who you are. You character, the condition of your heart, is what matters to God.

Can you guess what is the most approval-generating characteristic that you can have before God?

Try this verse on for size:

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Hebrews 11.6)

Why is faith so important to God? Does God really not care about what you do?

It’s not that God doesn’t care about what you do. It’s just that who you are comes first. God, as Creator, put the craving for approval in your heart so that you would seek Him. The problem comes when we try to fill that desire for approval with lesser things. Cars, clothes, and the common can never satisfy your soul. Your soul is spiritual and craves the approval of the Spirit. In other words, we settle too soon. Theologian C.S. Lewis said, “We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

What do you think about C.S. Lewis’ comment? What can a person do to win God’s approval?

Hooks & Holes

December 27,2002

I don’t normally encounter moments of deep profundity in the local Dairy Queen. For that matter, it wasn’t my local DQ. Heck, we don’t even have a DQ in Monticello. But Ranger, Texas has one, and as we sat waiting for the kids’ pancakes and our biscuits and gravy, I was hooked.

Carolyn noticed it first. In an alcove behind the side door was a wall full of hooks. The small recess was framed out, and the stenciled letters above it read “Ranger Boom Town Coffee Club.” Each hook proudly displayed its own unique coffee mug. Most were porcelain, but some were plastic. Their various colors, sizes, and logos gave the wall a patchwork quilt look, and it seemed obvious that such a varied collection could only be the result of dozens of pantries across the proud town of Ranger.

Above each mug were the names, crookedly stenciled in most case, of the distinguished members of the Ranger Coffee Club – Floyd Rice, John Casey, Norman, and Jr. to name a few. I guess it was the names, hooks, and mugs that brought the vision. I’d noticed a larger than normal round table, probably able to seat 12 near the front door when we came in. But now as my eyes swung back to it, I saw a much-repeated scene playing before my eyes.

As the sun rose over the rolling hills of this part of West Texas, a collection of this region’s wise men silently left their homes, guided to the local Dairy Queen, not by a star, but by neon. One by one they came, and as each enters, they are greeted by name by fellow members and the staff of the DQ. They select the mug on the hook bearing their name, and each helps himself to the coffee that’s kept behind the counter. They are customers; they’re the Ranger Boom Town Coffee Club.

As the round table fills, their early a.m. discussion begins. The only thing missing from this round table is their armor and their king. If only the kings, presidents and other leaders of the world could sit in on their morning eruditions… Usually before 9 each morning, they’ve solved or laid to rest the world’s problems and then swung back to topics of real importance – a missing member’s health (or laziness), Ranger High School football, and sometimes grandchildren, though this last topic is broached only around holidays for fear of seeming too sentimental. After all, this is the Ranger Coffee Club, not a beauty salon.

My reveries are interrupted by the arrival of our pancakes and biscuits. We comment on the mug board and how we loved the idea. In reply, she smiles broadly, but then wistfully adds, “It used to be completely full.” It was then that it clicked. The hookless holes that took up the bottom 1/3 of the board were not to make room for new members. They too once bore hooks, mugs, and names. They were memorials, not vacancies. There was no way to fill those holes.
Carolyn and I looked at each other in deep appreciation for the Ranger Coffee Club mug board. It was not about coffee. It was about community – present and past, both hooks and holes alike.

As we prepared to leave, I was glad I looked back. Norman was getting his cup off his hook. The Ranger Boom Town Coffee Club was arriving.

The Light Switch

July 14, 2001

A few days ago, the unthinkable happened. I was forced to become a handyman. Now for those of you for whom that is second nature, you will think me foolish. However, for any man out there who is paralyzed by the words “Honey, I need you to fix something,” this one’s for you.

I thought it would be easy – I guess that’s the first lie we believe. The light switch that controlled the front porch and living room lights had been loose for weeks. But if you wiggled it just right, you could make it work. And I was happy with that. But when it finally ceased working all together, my wife called attention to the fact we couldn’t just leave the lights on the porch on and go through 37 light bulbs a year. Darn. That meant I must spring into action.

So I went to Wal-Mart, wandered the aisles looking like I knew just what I needed until I found another double light unit. I knew enough to disconnect the power… (uh, well, Carolyn reminded me as I was unscrewing the old unit), and I had all my shiny tools ready: an electric screwdriver, a flashlight, and a Lego. (the Lego was already in the light switch socket.. I don’t know why, but I figured it was important, so I made sure to save it).

When I had taken the old unit completely out, I was left looking at four wires, two blacks, two whites. I thought I had memorized where they all went, but when I had wired up the new unit, the headache began. One switch now turned both the porch light and living room light on. Kinda cool, actually. A new feature for our home, I thought, but Carolyn insisted in doing things the OLD way. So I tried a different combination of wires. TWO HOURS LATER, I collapsed in bed. I was hardly speaking to Carolyn because of her regular, “helpful” advice. Yet, she had been right… I had put the unit in upside down. I didn’t know there was an “upside down” with light sockets.

Our spiritual lives are a lot like this, aren’t they? We think we have all the ingredients necessary and know exactly what to do to experience a happy life here and please God, but something goes wrong. What do you do when things aren’t working out like you think they should? Do you blame the light switch? The person offering you advice? The situation?

It is vitally important for us to “put it together” right in our spiritual lives. College students in particular are looking for ways to “make the connection.” Just going to church is like an upside down light switch. It might look good, but you aren’t really connected to the power source. Being baptized has nothing to do with your eternal destination. Being a good old boy won’t get you to heaven. Put it together right. The only thing that “connects” you with God is a personal, passionate, growth-filled relationship with Jesus Christ. You must give Him your life. He’ll turn the lights on for you.

The Work Behind the Word

In today’s society, we hate wait. Gimme a remote or a shorter line at Wal-Mart. But don’t make me wait. I believe our lives as Christ-followers are radically atrophied by this mindset of the moment, this need for now. God’s Word has some challenging things to say to those who would follow Jesus’ way amid the rush of unreality.

The Work Behind the Word: Following, Waiting, and Miracles

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55.8-9
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8.12
“They follow the Lamb wherever He goes.” Revelation 14.4
“When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.” John 10.4
“Come, follow me.” Mark 1.17 (Simon and Andrew)
“Follow me.” Mark 2.14 (Levi)
“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matthew 16.24
“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27.14
“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!” Isaiah 30.18

You also see waiting in Psalm 37.7, 40.1, Isaiah 26.8, and Acts 1.4.

• James, John’s brother, is killed.
• Peter is jailed.
• King Herod Agrippa begins persecution campaign (picking up where Saul left off.)

What appears to be defeating from one viewpoint is viewed completely differently from the viewpoint of faith. See Acts 12.24.

When there is a commitment to intimate communion, God will clearly reveal His instructions and activity.

• See Phillip and eunuch
• See Peter and Cornelius (10.2, 9)
• See Ananias and Saul (9.11)
• See Peter and church (12.5)

Learning to listen to God again. This has radical implications for us today. We must listen to our Lord and seek Him earnestly so that we will be in tune for when he speaks. Our prayer and waiting upon Him puts us in a position of spiritual readiness. Our fervency and consistency enable us to turn down the volume of the world and to slow down the pace of our lives so that we can hear and see and discern what God is doing. He is at work! He desires us to wait on Him instead of work for Him (or program for Him).

What if your current schedule conflicts with God’s schedule for you? What if a ministry’s schedule conflicts with what God has scheduled for them? Is it possible to be so focused on “serving God” or “ministry” that we actually miss God?

Could it be that our witness is ineffective today because we’ve quit following the God of the Good News and appropriated the Good News as our message rather than God’s? Have we stolen the Gospel from God to achieve our own ends?

We do not have God’s power to connect to the message we preach. Therefore, we must substitute programs and logic and propositions in the place of the Spirit and His power. Our evangelism is powerless because we no longer know how to follow God. We are at a loss. We don’t want to wait; we don’t want to stop. In golf terms, we need to let God “play through.” We are delaying His progress by our slow and pitiful play.

Practical -
Waiting does not mean inactivity. Rather, waiting is a state of vigilance.

Kingdom Authority-Adrian Rogers

This is a synopsis of The Incredible Power of Kingdom Authority, Adrian Rogers, Broadman & Holman, 2004; Summarized by: Jeff Noble, June 2004

•  Why are we fighting a battle already lost when we could enjoy a victory already won?
•  The Trinity of Evil: the world, the flesh, and the devil
•  The flesh is like software programming the hardware of our brain and body. And it has a virus called sin.
•  If Satan didn’t exist, you would go on sinning without his help. He comes to obsess, depress, and defeat you. He is called the deceiver, a liar, a murderer, the accuser of the brothers, the tempter, the prince of the power of the air, the destroyer, and the evil one.
•  Two Greek words for “power” – dunamis (ability and strength) and exousia (the right to use power). When Jesus gave them the power to tread on snakes (Luke 17.10-19), it was dunamis. The “power over the enemy” is exousia.
•  Charles Spurgeon: “If we let passion take the place of judgment, and self-will reign instead of scriptural authority, we shall fight the Lord’s battles with the devil’s weapons, and if we cut our own fingers we must not be surprised.”
•  Have you ever thought that you may be asking God for what you already have
•  The cleverest lies of Satan sound almost like the truth. Remember, a broken clock is still right twice during the day! Jesus used God’s Word to defeat Satan’s temptations. Know the truth!
•  Difference between commitment and surrender. We love to ask people to make a commitment. They will respond. But surrender Americans love commitment because they are still in control. They made the commitment. But the key word in Christ is surrender.
•  You cannot be over those things that God wants you to be over until you learn to be under those things that God has set over you. The principle of authority in our lives. Americans hate authority. When you are willing to be to Jesus what Jesus was in His humanity to the Father, then Jesus will be to your humanity what the Father was to Him. (67)
•  Learning to be a slave to God actually sets you free. “The slave to the compass has freedom of the seas. The rest must sail close to the shore.”
•  We will not have what He gives until we accept who He is. Charles Spurgeon: “If the convert declares that he knows the Lord’s will but doesn’t’ mean to attend to it, it is your duty to assure him that he is not saved. Don’t imagine that the Gospel is magnified, or God glorified, by going to worldlings and telling them that they may be saved at this moment simply by accepting Christ as their Savior, while they are wedded to their idols with their hearts, and their hearts are still in love with sin. If I do so, I tell them a lie, I pervert the Gospel, I insult Christ, I turn the grace of God into lasciviousness.”
•  My great need is not more authority for myself but more intimacy with Jesus so I can coordinate my will to His.
•  The popular idea of the church being a democracy (the rule of the people) is not found in the Bible. The spirit of rugged individualism and autonomous selfhood is not to be the motivating power of a New Testament church.
• Everyone’s opinion is not equally correct.
• The opinion of the majority is not necessarily right.
• All in the church are not basically the same. (We all have equal value before God, but we have different gifts and functions)
•  The priesthood of the believer does not refer to authority, but to the fact that each believer has direct access to God through the Lord Jesus Christ.
•  The pastor’s task is to help the members discover, develop, and deploy their spiritual gifts, and to let them serve at Jesus’ command.
•  About the pastor’s leadership, Oswald Sanders said: “It should be authoritative, because people love to be led by one who knows where he is going and who inspires confidence. Spiritual, because a leadership that is unspiritual, that can be fully explained in terms of the natural, although eligible, attractive, and competent, will only result in sterility and moral and spiritual bankruptcy. Sacrificial, because modeled on the life of the One who gave Himself as a sacrifice for the whole world, who left us an example that we should follow in His footsteps.”
•  The pastor who is always available is not worth very much when he is available. (Even Jesus modeled a life of drawing away to spend time with the Father.)
•  Sin in the heart is like an enemy behind the lines.
•  Satan cannot keep God from answering, so he tries to keep us from asking.
•  Joseph T’son, pastor in Romania, told the communists, “I know what you can do. Your chief weapon is killing, but let me tell you what my chief weapon is. My chief weapon is dying. And I want to warn you that if you use yours, I will be forced to use mine.”
•  Authority is not a means to get earth’s will done in heaven. It is a means to pursue heaven’s will performed on earth.

Woody & Rooty: The Story of Two Fruit Trees

I wrote this many moons ago when I was a youth minister at a small church in Texas. Here’s hoping you can appreciate corny humor wrapped around some deep thoughts.

The Story of Two Fruit Trees: Woody & Rooty.

Both were planted at the same time by Farmer Brown. They grew up together, became fast friends, until one day Woody noticed the tumbleweeds blowing past. He became green with envy at their carefree way of life. The places they must get to see, the things they must get to do, he thought.

He decided to leave. Rooty tried to talk him out of it, but Woody just barked at him. “I want to branch out! I want to have fun and see the world.”

“I thought we were having fun,” Rooty said.

But Woody ignored him, packed his trunk, uprooted himself and took off after the tumbleweeds.

Rooty missed him greatly, but soon he noticed that he had become old enough to bear fruit — and what delicious fruit it was! It fed the birds, Farmer Brown and his family, and Farmer Brown even planted some seeds from the fruit that sprouted the next year and grew rapidly.

A few years later, Rooty was pruned so that he could bear even more fruit. The pruning was painful, but he knew it was necessary to be productive. He was very sappy, I mean, happy.

One day, Woody showed. Rooty was shocked at his appearance. Woody was just a stub of a tree, and he had only one root left.

“What happened?” Rooty asked.

“It was horrible,” Woody replied. “All was well until my friends the tumbleweeds hit the concrete highway – then they could travel great distances at fast speeds. I had problems keeping up because of my many roots, but most fell off which made things easier for me. That is, until I realized a few days later that I just couldn’t get enough to eat. The little roots I had didn’t supply my needs, and I began to shrink. Then I realized that those tumbleweeds were incredibly fickle. They just went wherever the wind blew. Sometimes, we’d end up right back where we started from. It was discouraging. And then I started to really examine my friends.”

“What did you find?” Rooty asked.

“They were all dead!” Woody cried to him. “There was no life in them! That’s when I started back here. I want to sink the root I have left deep so that I can grow and finally produce the fruit I was originally meant to.”

My Philosophy of Ministry

I have found that the working out of my salvation and my perceptions of theology to be most beneficial and enlightening. I am both challenged and enouraged by the task that is before me as I seek to be obedient not to my own perceptions but to the Spirit of God as He leads me through each circumstance. The principle that sticks out most to me is the complete dependence upon God and His sovereign authority that is necessary in order to truly “walk in the Spirit.”

In formulating “my theology,” I am sobered by how closely akin it is semantically to “mythology” and am persuaded by the very import of that fact of the necessity of transforming one’s theology into one’s biography. I cannot do this until I know the very basis of my faith and theology, which I will outline briefly before I detail the practical workings-out of my doctrinal beliefs.

First of all, I will most gladly and readily accept the mantle of conservatism as it applies to my doctrine. I have come to believe that many theologians have too quickly turned loose of some valuable traditional truths just because they were too uncomfortable to defend. However, I qualify my conservative doctrine by what many would consider a liberal methodology. It is interesting that what others have considered to be a liberal interpretation of God’s Word, I simply feel is the application of God’s Word to everyday life. That is the point of divergence that I feel my particular belief system has with contemporary conservatism. In short, I believe what they believe, but for the most part, I am distressed about how little of their beliefs they incorporate into the workings of life.

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I’m on Your Side

As I was re-reading Philippians this afternoon to get ready for church tomorrow, I came across this passage. It’s from “The Message” version:

“Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in Him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them.” (Philippians 4)

It struck me that in the midst of presidential debates and wrangling about words, that our nation is in the process of choosing sides in these days. However, the amazing thing about a true follower of Christ is that he becomes a proponent of people, period. In other words, I’m on your side.

It’s not about politics or opinions or issues. It’s about you. It’s about me. Can we get along as humans? Can we look past differences of mind and affirm one another’s being.

The only way to do this is to see life in perspective. To step back from the economy, from Iraq, from relevant issues like racism, poverty, and freedom and then to realize that there is a broader perspective. We get mentally constipated on the above issues (and others) and can’t pass on to what really matters, what will really relieve us. (Sorry for this gross analogy!) Bit I contend that your own ability to discover and view reality through a mentality of divine celebration is vital to your ability to perceive and enjoy life.

In other words, until you learn to celebrate God, to revel in Him, you will not find anything else worth celebrating that will last. Oh sure, you’ll find momentary joys and pleasures. A sunset, a walk on a beach or in the mountains, the hug of a child, a tender moment with friends… But each of those passes. Yet a person’s ability to discover the reality and love of God in Christ Jesus will determine their continued capacity to enjoy life. Period.

Can you revel in God? Or is being that happy in a relationship with God a foreign concept?

I’m on your side. I want you to enjoy living! To find your purpose. To rise above boredom and mediocrity and the mundane. I choose what ultimately matters for you. Ask me, email me, insult me, or ignore me. But don’t ignore your own deep joy and happiness. If you do, you’ll miss the dance of a lifetime. It’s like sitting at home while everyone else is at the prom.

I would urge you to learn to dance with our Creator! As you let Him lead, your toes will be safe, and you’ll drink deeply of the music of life.

Or… you could just get consumed by the debates. And choose sides.

Electoral Smectoral.. Reform Needed

It’s way past time for the Electoral College system to be revised, but not for the reasons you think…

I’ve been puzzling and studying over this since the divisive 2000 election and keep coming to the same conclusion. The Electoral College system needs to be revised. In a graphic on Real Clear Politics website dated today (10/29/04), it shows the current electoral breakdown four days before the 2004 election.

It strikes me as extremely ridiculous that Bush could win so many states in the 2000 election and perhaps in the 2004 election and still have the Electoral College totals so close. NO WONDER the rhetoric is so virulent from both the Bush and Kerry camps. The Bush camp sees their candidate carrying 70% of the actual states but, if the polls are correct (they’re not), being in a desperate scrape for electoral votes. The Kerry camp, on the other hand, sees that their candidate, at most will only carry 15 states (30%) and realize that he does not have the favor of most of the states, so they seize on every scrap and iota of unproved news they can find to try and curry favor.

I think it would be much wiser and more democratic for us to keep the current electoral college system in place BUT add a formula for the number of states carried as well. I think this would recognize the significance and autonomy of statehood in our incredible nation, as well as preventing those states with larger populations and thus more electoral votes, to sway elections. It’s easy to see that people with a certain world view or perspective gravitate toward certain parts of the country. This formula would require a presidential candidate to focus on all states, and not just those that they may be able to sway on the East or West coasts.

One idea of the formula would be EV (electoral votes) +5 for statehood. Whichever candidate wins the EV for that state receives that state’s electoral votes +5. It’s extremely fair (who wouldn’t want to recognize the importance and governance of the states?), and we already have a model for it: the US Congress! You see, in Congress, every state has a number of representatives in the House based on that state’s population (the Electoral College is also population-based). The Senate is composed of 2 senators from each state, regardless of size (where my proposal comes in… allowing a +5 to the EV). These two balance themselves out, ensuring that ALL states matter, and not just those with the larger populations (and sometimes similar political perspectives).

It’s time!

But I bet the Kerry-ites would prefer to continue seeking the approval of a few rather than appealing to ALL the states.

Key Thoughts from “A Long Obedience” by Eugene Peterson

First of all, anyone named Eugene that can write a book like this AND translate the entire Bible into what we now have as “The Message” Bible is worth reading!

I’ve basically gone through the book and typed up everything that I underlined. I hope some of these “thought bombs” help you process the book’s message and encourage you to read it!

A Long Obedience in the Same Direction
Eugene Peterson (Intervarsity Press, 1980, 2000)
Notes compiled by Jeff Noble – June 8, 2004

•  World is an atmosphere, a mood. It is nearly as hard for a sinner to recognize the world’s temptations as it is for a fish to discover impurities in the water. There is a sense, a feeling, that things aren’t right, that the environment is not whole, but just what it is eludes analysis. – 15
•  It is not difficult in such a world to get a person interested in the message of the gospel; it is terrifically difficult to sustain the interest. -16
•  There is a great market for religious experience in our world; there is little enthusiasm for the patient acquisition of virtue, little inclination to sign up for a long apprenticeship in what earlier generations for Christians called holiness.
•  Religion in our day has been captured by the tourist mindset. So many have a “bent” for religious entertainment.
•  Two biblical designations for people of faith: disciple and pilgrim. Disciple (mathetes) says we are people who spend our lives apprenticed to our master. We are in a growing-learning relationship, always. We don’t learn in a school, but at the work site of the craftsman. We seek not to acquire information about God but skills in faith.
• Pilgrim (parepidemos) tells us that we are people who spend our lives going someplace, going to God, and whose path for getting there is the way, Jesus Christ. – 17

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Trust & Delight

Two things that require great mental gymnastics

“Trust in the Lord and do good, then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires.” Psalm 37.3-4

Trust & Delight

These two commands require a daily mind adjustment. You must consciously tell and then force yourself to TRUST Him any given day or moment rather than defaulting to self-sufficiency.

You must also daily reconvince and readjust your heart to DELIGHT in Him. To look at Him for your soul’s satisfaction rather than seeking to fill your life with other things due to unsubmitted and rebel “wants.” (ie., I “want” this to happen… or I “want” a new DVD recorder…).

Mental gymnastics! For our minds are ever out on the trapeze, swinging freely with no discipline to our thought life whatsoever. We are an entertained culture with soft minds. We cannot focus on the deep things of life. A 23 minute sitcom is about the limit of our attention (for free), or we’ll pay $7.50 to sit and allow the theater to guide our minds into story for 2-3 hours. Can you imagine the singular benefit to your life, your health, and your personal growth, to devote 23 minutes daily, and 2-3 hours once or twice a week to things that truly matter: your relationship with God, with your spouse, children, family… service to your community…. help for those truly needy.

As you learn to TRUST God and DELIGHT in Him, it will require great mental concentration, patience, and daily-ness. Do the hard work of submitting your mind and enjoyments in Him! You’ll be shocked at how ordered and peaceful your life will become.

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you as well.” Jesus, in Matthew 6.33

Righteous Day Mapping

Just some simple thoughts on Proverbs 4.25-26 about how to orient your day to God. These verses , I believe show us how we might practice “righteous day mapping.”

“Keep your eyes straight ahead;
ignore all sideshow distractions.
Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you.
Look neither right nor left;
leave evil in the dust.”

It speaks of focus and day-long concentration. Here’s an experiment for you to try for five days:
1. In the a.m., read Scripture.
2. Spend time in prayer.
3. Take out a piece of paper, and prayerfully map out your day…

a. Your to-do list
b. Your goals
c. List ministry items you could do, realistically, that day. (i.e., writing a thank you or encouragement note, sending someone an anonymous love offering who is in need, devoting your lunch to prayer for a situation or person, dealing with a tough relational issue by finally taking initiative and talking to that person in a spirit of love, etc.)
d. Offer yourself to the Lord to be a “gospeller” that day. Be ready and watchful throughout that day to bear witness to someone about how much Jesus means to you.
e. Jot down some ideas for future service to your family, other Christians, or your community

4. Commit your ideas/plans/goals to the Lord and head into your day.

As you do so, “keep your eyes straight ahead…”

• Take your paper with you and review once an hour…
• Mark off what the Lord enables you to accomplish, ranging from the simple to the significant.
• Make notes on your paper as you head through the day
• Before or after meal-times review your day in prayer and re-devote your focus to Him

“Ignore all sideshow distractions…”
Don’t deviate from your course. Many of us are not used to living disciplined lives, and this is only the beginning for you. At first it will seem “forced,” but after a few days of trial and prayerful effort, you will discover that your day seems freer, more focused, and more enjoyable than ever before. You will be able to make decisions easier as you avoid “sideshow distractions.” Your written guide in the a.m. will help you focus and prioritize your life for the Kingdom that day.

“Watch your step and the road will stretch out smooth before you…”
You will be delighted and surprised as you begin to discover that you were CREATED to live a disciplined and focused life. Over the next several days, you may find that you need your written guide less to refer to. Many of these pratices will begin to ingrain themselves into holy habits. It will become part of who you are, part of what you do. It will move from feeling legalistic to become liberating as you see “the road stretch out smooth before you.”

“Look neither to the left or the right…”
Yea, but what about distractions and interruptions? Obviously, they will come. Today! Life is not about living from a piece of paper. What you produce in the a.m. is only a guide. Yet, here is how to handle interruptions as they come:

• As you realize you’re “off course,” breathe a simple prayer to the Lord for wisdom and grace. On the fly, evaluate if what you’re currently doing is urgent, necessary, or critical. If it’s not urgent, postpone it.. make a note to include it tomorrow or later. If it’s critical, do it. If it’s necessary, pursue it with cautious wisdom.
• If your interruption or distraction is a person… prayerfully consider if it’s someone the Lord has sent your way to hear from or minister to.
• If it’s simply the result of you being unfocused, STOP what you’re doing. Pray. Pull out an index card with some scripture you’ve written on it previously to refresh your mind. Then redevote yourself to what you need to do.

What about kids, you may ask? So many of us are in this boat right now. Kids are a gift! The Lord said that heaven is open to the innocent. So should we be. But you will need to use creativity, grace, and patience to order righteously map your day AND be a parent.

Please don’t think you can’t do any of this. Just try it for five days. Don’t crush yourself with it. Just move a step or two in the direction of a disciplined life. You’ll be delighted to discover how much it agrees with you. You were created for Him!

Stuff I’ve Read Lately

Just a list of books that I’ve read lately… Some have comments about them. Others don’t…

Here are some of the things I’ve been reading lately.

• The Roots of Endurance, John Piper
• The Unchurched Next Door, Thom Rainer
• The Last Juror, John Grisham
• Jesus in Beijing, Wonderful book that chronicles the history of Christianity in China up to modern, underground house churches and persecution. Written in 2002.
• Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them, John Ortberg – A must read for anyone wanting to experience authentic community.
• Deliver Us From Evil, Sean Hannity
• The Simarillion, JRR Tolkien – Incredible prequel to Lord of the Rings
• A Long Obedience, Eugene Peterson
• Don’t Waste Your Life, John Piper – Excellent!