Archive for November, 2006

Dallas Willard once said that if you’re right, it’s exceedingly difficult not to hurt anyone with it. In addition to that, I’ve personally experienced the dismal result of winning an argument but losing the relationship.

How many of you out there are like me and feel that you’re right most of the time? It’s a dangerous position to take and assume about yourself. For one, it negates learning. Most damaging, however, is that it produces arrogance. If you find yourself doing all the talking in conversations, I can assure you that there are less listeners present than you think.

I spent a few torturous moments the other night being verbally overloaded by someone who seemed to not realize that my constant “Hmm’s” and “Uh-huh’s” were not genuine expressions of interest. It’s a miserable experience to be stuck in a “conversation” that closely resembles a one-man game of tennis.

David James, my former boss and friend, is still the team leader for college ministry for Arkansas Southern Baptists. He, better than anyone I know, has perfected the beautiful art of asking questions. I was serving in a church in Texas when I visited with David at seminary one afternoon. He pounded me with questions about myself, my family, my philosophy of ministry, what I loved about God, and what I thought about this or that. It was an unusual experience, but I walked away that evening feeling like the most important person on earth. I couldn’t recall the last time someone had asked me about me and then genuinely listened.

Such an experience transformed how I still interact with people. I like to ask questions. I like to ask people deep questions. Questions that I know they will not be asked that month, that year, or perhaps even their entire life if I don’t ask them. It’s also a joy to listen, learn, and discover. It is nothing short of an epiphany to receive insight into a person through simple questions. You’ll also be amazed to see a person bloom right before your eyes.

People rarely, if ever, receive the opportunity, permission, and interest from another person to tell their story. And everyone has one.

For those of us who like to be right, I’d like to recommend a new trail to travel. Rather than defending a position or proving a point in conversations this week, how about asking some questions?

Here are some of my favorites:

• What do you like to do when you have free time?
• Who got you started in that activity?
• Who would you say has most influenced your life?
• What event in your life has most impacted your outlook on life?
• What’s been one of your greatest disappointments?
• What do you need today to be completely happy?
• What do you do with your belief or disbelief in God?
• What characteristic of God have you discovered to be most comforting?
• Who can you think of in our town that you’d like to know better and why?

The New Testament counsels us to “be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” How I wish the person with verbal diarrhea had remembered that verse the other night.

One other thought… the one trait that must be cultivated in order to practice genuine interest and question-asking can be damaging to your selfishness. It’s the one trait that God loves most in people. It’s the one trait that we find most delightful in people we like but can’t explain why. It’s the one trait that promises to make you deeper, thoughtful, peaceful, and purposeful. It’s humility.

It’s hard to win an argument with humility. So best not try.

It’s no longer edgy to doubt the Zune. Now everyone is climbing on board after realizing that Microsoft’s hasty release of a media player to combat the runaway success of Apple’s iPod smells just like dead bugs on Windows.

John Gruber at Daring Fireball has the latest commentary.

Well, it’s, uh, cool.

And what she said.

Yep. It’s true. Now you can sign up to be levitated for the holidays. Maybe.

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For some of you Mac newbs, here’s a fun lineup of some great Mac open-source software.

It’s no longer safe to sunbathe or snatch your morning paper in your skivvies. Google Earth is watching you…

This is hysterical.

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I’m still enjoying John Ortberg’s book, God Is Closer than You Think, and was intrigued and moved by a simple page turn this morning. Isn’t life like that? One moment you see words on a page, black on white. You’re enjoying a book or article and moving right along.

The next moment… your breath is taken away. A simple page turn. More black on white. But what you read there opens your eyes, catches your heart, and engages you with a world larger than you, a book, a cup of coffee and Fox News in the background.

Truth. Beauty. Loveliness. Marvel. Wonder.

What do you see?

When we see beauty that overwhelms us; when we see acts of compassion that make us choke up; when we feel longing so deep and sweet that everything in our life recedes; when the turn of a phrase or a bar of music catches us off guard and takes our breath away – then perhaps it is something more than just an aesthetic experience,” according to Ortberg.

Perhaps that’s why I love Christmas movies so much. ABC Family advertised last night their “25 Days of Christmas” – meaning 25 days of some-cheesy, some-cheering Christmas shows. I’m all over it. You never know when you’re watching a Christmas movie at what point your eyes are replaced by your heart.

It happens in a moment. You were seeing actors, scenes, and snow. Then with explosive force your heart leaps, your eyes wet, your throat constricts. Something larger has happened. You have been engaged.

It’s my thought this morning that every moment of life contains the possibility of brushing beauty onto the canvas of your experience. One thing… you can’t paint on a moving canvas.

Ortberg says that in order to experience abundance, we must “refuse to give in to a pace of life that reduces His handiwork to a blur.”

In other words, slow down. Look up. Look around. Breathe.

What do you see?

What would you like to see?

Here are 10 OS X apps that you might not know about but probably should. With literally thousands of apps out there begging for your attention, this article should help weed through some of the clutter.

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I must refrain from all the Nutt-Dick jokes that come to mind as I write this entry. With Coach Houston Nutt demanding that Casey Dick start for the Razorbacks in the last four games, I just have to call it like I see it… nuts! After undefeated starts from the #1 QB recruit in the nation, Houston promptly benched Mitch Mustain in favor of Dick. Saying that he “saw something” in Dick’s play that wasn’t present with Mustain’s, Arkansas cruised to back-to-back victories over South Carolina, Tennessee, and Mississippi State.

For all those who think I’m crazy, I offer to you the real reasons for the last three wins: 2 Big D’s.

• Darren McFadden
• Defense

Plain and simple.

The quarterback position is a mystical, magical leadership role that inspires a team. Casey ain’t even got a wand. The Hogs’ loss to LSU was a dismal performance from under center, and yet Houston stuck with Dick the entire game. Earlier, he had said that he would go with “whoever got the job done.” Well, it tweren’t Dick.

The Razorbacks, I’ll certainly proclaim, have been a stellar team this year. Too bad they haven’t had a stellar coach. With profound talent on both sides of the ball, Nutt has found ways to NOT lose this year time and again. Saturday’s loss to LSU was not really an LSU victory. It was Nutt’s Christmas gift to the Tigers.

Let’s hope he goes to get a real job next year so that the Hogs can move on and move up.

By the way, I ain’t crazy.

Over at the thinkerup blog, a quote from Francis Schaeffer was posted that caused provocative ponderings that I’d propose you peruse as well…

“The liberal theologians in their stress on community speak and act as though we become Christians when we enter the horizontal relationship of community. But this is totally the wrong starting-point. If this were so, Christianity would have no more final value than the humanistic community.”

–Francis Schaeffer, The Church at the End of the 20th Century, 1970

Perhaps one reason my cerebellum was significantly stunned by this sentence is simply because of my own spiritual surroundings.

You see, Journey Church is all about community. We sincerely seek to include rather than exclude. We want to allow people to belong before they believe. Many other churches are the exact opposite in their approach, demanding adherence or profession of a “faith” that many times is verbal only.

That doesn’t mean that we allow folks without a loyalty and belief in Jesus Christ as Lord to serve in positions of spiritual leadership. It does mean that we welcome the sincere contributions of anyone, regardless of where they are in their own spiritual journey. If someone wants to help with a service project, go on a mission trip, organize an event, etc., and they’re not members, then that’s fine and dandy. We sincerely feel that the glorious nature and Christ-DNA of a committed disciple (especially a community of committed disciples) will be a witness and aroma of life to a person who is earnestly seeking God. In reality, there is no such thing as a human seeker of God.

As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” Romans 3.10-12

Yet in a seeming paradox, scripture also affirms that when God begins to call a person, they begin to seek Him. Consider these two verses;

No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day. John 6.44

For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Luke 11.10

Only community that is founded upon the life-altering search of a Creator for humanity is true community. All the church’s best attempts at gathering a crowd or creating a movement will fall flat if based upon warm fuzzies, blurry theology, and worship “preferences.”

I affirm with Schaeffer that there is danger of emphasizing community. There are too many new churches, parachurch agencies, and loosely-organized “Christian” movements in our midst today that are creating belonging and never encouraging believing. However, I also affirm that it’s essential that we allow people to belong to and experience the joy of authentic Christian community prior to their heart and mental allegiance to Christ. It is in the midst of love that Christ walks again.

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4.12

The gathering of believers that is Christ-centered and saturated will intentionally and then unconsciously love each other and its neighbors. It will not only witness but experience the transforming power of Christ drawing “seekers” from the periphery to the center.

How is your community doing? Is it more horizontal or more vertical?

Apparently someone agreed with my decision not to buy a Zune…

The Chicago Sun-Times does not like the Zune. At all. “Do you honestly want morons like this to have power over your music player? Then go ahead and buy a Zune. You’ll find that the Zune Planet orbits the music industry’s Bizarro World, where users aren’t allowed to do anything that isn’t in the industry’s direct interests.”

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This past week, Jim challenged anyone who would take the bait to list the top five things we’re thankful for. I was too fragmented an busy to sit down and really think deeply enough about it, but I logged it in my mind as something to follow up on. So here you have my belated thanksgivings:

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There’s a fantastic article here for those considering blogging. It’s also very useful as a refresher for those who’ve been blogging a year or less.

By the way, as mentioned on MonticelloLive, I’ll be offering a FREE blogging seminar at Dad’s Place Monday night at 6:30 and Tuesday morning at 10:30.

There’s no book on my face.

But I’ve had surprising fun playing with Facebook the last few days. It is a much better networking tool than anything else out there. Check out my profile.

In addition, have you all dropped by 30boxes yet? Take some time to play there today. Cool stuff.

You may not have noticed this new feature to Notes, but when you leave a comment, you’ll notice this checkbox below the comment box…

I can’t explain it better than Shawn, so go read his info about it.