My daughter’s dog and I don’t get along. At all.

For starters, she barks incessantly, even maniacally at the slightest noise. I can alter my voice while in another room, and she’ll literally bark herself into hysteria at the thought that perhaps a person who looks like me but talks differently has snuck into her home to steal her dogfood.

I have often threatened her with a swift and self-satisfying death.

However, for 2008 (or as long as I can take it), I have resolved to be kind to Fancy.

The next few days will be relatively easy. I’ll be out of town until the new year while she is still at home being dog-sat by the Morgans.

On this day...