kdf07.jpgI can feel my eyes crossing already. This weekend is Kim’s Dance Factory’s annual dance recital(s). The recital is actually composed of two three-hour recitals, one for the younger students and one for the older students. There are a few parents who, upon realizing that their two daughters have reached ages that force them to sit through both ordeals, call doctors for temporary prescriptions of muscle relaxers.

The massive weekend showcases some of the best (and worst) dance talent around. Moms cry, dads snooze, and grandparents fawn over their little ones much like Tom Cruise did initially over Katie Holmes. Me, I film it all. (By the way, if you’ve never seen Dane Cook’s impersonation of Tom Cruise’s Oprah appearance, take the time watch it here, then go watch the Oprah interview.)

It’s not just a six hour ordeal, but it turns into a two week, computer-staring, video-editing blur for me as I strive to produce two feature-length films, shot from two different cameras and have the DVDs into parents’ hands in three weeks.

So if some of my posts seem sporadic or inane (more so than usual) over the next two weeks, you’ll know that I’m up to my eyeballs in tap shoes.

One of the things that I enjoy the most (besides ooo-ing and aah-ing over how much better my daughter is than every other poor girl out there) is the backstage commentary. All of the head muckity-mucks, yours truly included, wear headsets to make sure that we’re on top of the production. It’s a well-oiled machine, I tell you.

139px-howard-cosell.jpgHowever, we tend to use the headsets more like Howard Cosell might have for the play by play of a football game. Kim and her army of helpers backstage don’t really keep the headsets on all the time during the performance, so that leaves Mike Hales, myself, and Steve Pigott to offer up helpful thoughts and affirming commentary about each dance number.

Each year, we feel a little like Regis Philbin must have felt yesterday in his comeback to the show after six weeks of recovery from bypass surgery. As we don those headsets, we (or mabe it’s just me) imagine that we’re talking to millions and entertaining them all with our witty banter. We promise to refrain from any Imus-isms this year. We would not want to dishearten future ballerinas with our words. There’s been many a time that a comment or one-liner has crackled over the headset and reduced the sound booth to the silent laughter shakes. You know – the kind that you can’t stop laughing/shaking cause you know the teacher will call you down, but then you can’t quit thinking of what made you laugh in the first place.

Anyway, if you happen to be at the productions and see any of us with headphones on and marvel at our professionalism, then please… keep marvelling. We sure wouldn’t want to disappoint you with reality.

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