I am secure in my manhood. I am secure in my manhood. I am secure in my manhood. My breasts are not growing. My breasts are not growing.

That’s my new daily mantra to be repeated until I am able to enter the world with confidence. I repeat this to myself for a full 5 minutes before I slide into the driver’s seat of our minivan. Yep. You heard it right; I am now driving a minivan. After several months of searching, enlisting the eyes and ears of others to help search, we found Caro her “dream” vehicle and purchased it yesterday. It’s a 2002 Toyota Sequoia SR5 with all the trimmings. It’s a beaut, and we got a great deal on it. We’ve been shopping these things for months, literally.

Anyway, because of our commitment to be a one-car-payment family, that means that my quad-cab midnight blue, V8 Dodge Dakata SLT is on the block. Sniff. And I’m now driving one fine minivan. I think I’ll get a lift kit put on it, and a winch, and a mounted spot light. Maybe some tractor tires.

No, I’m not compensating. Whatever gave you that idea?

Anyway, as Carolyn now literally skips down the sidewalk to the carport, singing joyfully, I check traffic patterns and try to avoid as many bubba jams as I can. (Bubba jams are conglomerations of pickups with shotgun racks and large, bearded men wearing camo – about 80% of the traffic here in Monticello).

One day… I hope to acquire a used Jeep Wrangler for under $5K. So if you hear or know of one, please holler. I don’t think my daily mantra is helping.

On this day...

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Jeff Noble

Jeff is the pastor of Northstar Church in Blacksburg, Virginia. He grew up in Arkansas, loves fantasy football and is an Apple fan boy. Follow him on Twitter or Instagram @journeyguy.
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