If you’ve spent any moments which have unexpectedly turned to hours surfing the net in the past month, you will readily identify with this entry, I hope. When I get up from my desk after a long time on the net – whether blogging, researching, playing, or interest-surfing – I tend to feel somewhat frustrated with myself for “wasting” time.

Although I’ve learned, been inspired, encouraged, challenged or entertained in those monitor-staring moments, I still feel like life would be better lived with human interaction. I appreciate lurkers who eventually comment and encourage me, and I also appreciate the direct emails from folks who have been encouraged by my blog or something, so all is not a “waste,” but there remains this unsettled feeling about having spent so much time in front of a machine.

Then there is the gnawing sense that there is just too much out there for me to get my little brain around. The net is endless for one person to process, and it’s growing by milllions of pages daily. The sheer immensity of information available is boggling. I have a deep thirst for truth, for knowledge, for understanding, and when I stumble across things that are beyond my own intellectual level on the net, I marvel at my minute mind. It’s humbling.

There is so much out there! So much to take in, read, understand, grapple with, digest, assimilate, know, taste, see, climb, swim, give, and experience… I grieve deeply that I CANNOT plumb the depths of creation. I will NEVER be able to climb Mt. Everest Everest
or see a fraction of the beauties of this planet. Untread valleys and islands abound on this planet, and I will not be their Columbus. At 38 years old, there are a few things I could passionately set my mind and body to accomplish while I’m still able and perhaps achieve them. However, by doing so, I will naturally rule out the option of thousands of other high pursuits.

To run in a marathon? To parachute? To learn to snow ski? To see Europe, India, Russia… To be in a movie… Then there’s the whole aspect of the good I could do. To bring food to starving children in west Africa. To work earnestly for human rights and religious freedom in Sudan. To prevent greed from destroying natural resources and beauty. I am one person. The years of my life are a vapor. I cannot accomplish life as if it were a checklist. There’s just not enough time.

Admittedly, what follows next is not revolutionary. Any person who will slow down long enough to consider their own smallness has an epiphany. Life is bigger than I am. Creation throbs with life and energy and power, and my part is infinitesimal.

As a believer in the Messiah of the Jews, however, I have perspective on my inabilities to experience this world. The New Testament says poignantly and powerfully, about people of faith:

Each one of these people of faith died {and so will I} not yet having in hand what was promised, but still believing. How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance, waved their greeting, and accepted the fact that they were transients in this world. People who live this way make it plain that they are looking for their true home. If they were homesick for the old country, they could have gone back any time they wanted. But they were after a far better country than that?heaven country. You can see why God is so proud of them, and has a City waiting for them.

And the apostle John in Revelation records,

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son.

It is only in the hope of the ultimately fulfilled promise offered in the New Testament that I find complete and final satisfaction of my loftiest desires. For this world is not my home. It’s not yours either. To the extent that we chase that fact down and apprehend it into our understanding and way of thinking, we will enjoy life here and be astounded by the life to come.

You see, one day I CAN. I will have all the time I need to explore an infinite world of breath-taking beauty, spectacular seascapes, and incomprehensible majesty. I will be able to study, learn and assimilate vast amounts of information (that will be unending) with a mind that can retain it. I will be able to laugh and love and fellowship with my brothers and sisters of all humanity, from every tribe, race, people, and tongue as we forever live in a mode of unending deligted discovery and unashamed, adulated worship of the One who has gone to prepare this place for us. (John 14.2)

This world we now tarry in, with all its amazing beauty still offers unspeakable horrors to millions. The fact that in freedom I can’t dream about climbing Everest while others across the planet (or even across town) are experiecing brutality and abuse is beyond my comprehension. It’s all too big for me to grasp or know how to solve. I must simply do what I can where I am with what I know and with what I have and be open to whose I am, for He has permission to redirect and interrupt my life at any moment. After all, this Creator-Savior flung the worlds into existence by His Word.

Though I cannot even describe my feelings of inadequacy in this lengthy, self-revealing blog entry, I can say that my unmet desires now will be overshadowed by the Everest of opportunities in light of eternity. I CANNOT now, but I WILL then.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” (Ecclesiastes 3.11)

On this day...

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