Let me fire another salvo at the whole power-of-words commentary… It started here.

Last weekend I was doing nine hours of penance in the Drew Central Auditorium for my sins over the last year… Ok, actually I was filming Kim’s Dance Factory’s two recitals. They are 2.5 – 3.5 hour fiestas that thrill the heart and soul of anyone with estrogen. Every other man there, however… well, nuff said. Me, I was making money, so it was tolerable.

Anyway, in the middle of the first recital, I realized an important mistake that I’d made. I made the same one the year before. People who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. I drank bottle of Diet Coke at the beginning of the afternoon’s recital. About an hour and 45 minutes into it, I became disconcertingly aware that if it the recital didn’t end soon that I would die of a bladder explosion. I couldn’t get up; I was behind the camera. Like I said, penance.

At the conclusion of that first recital, I waddled my way as quickly as I dared down to the bathroom. What I found in there (after relief) was rather humorous. Sam (our 9 year-old) along with 3-4 other 3rd grade boys were coming out of a stall together. Sam’s friend Dallas, who talks in jet plane level decibels all them time was informing the state…

"Wow! I can’t believe it! That one had all of them!"

I had no idea… but the next blasts solved the immediate riddle..

"The A- word, the D- word, the S- word, and even… the F- word!"

They were all apparently inscribed in Stall #2. And the 3rd Grade Graffitti Gazers had inspected each and every stall.

Great, just great, I thought. Just what I wanted my third-grader exposed to. Potty profanity.

I instructed the boys to get out of the bathroom, and began walking out. As I followed them out, I heard Dallas mutter, "I wonder who Mr. Simmons is? I’d sure hate to be him…"

Note to the Drew Central Janitorial Staff:
Please clean the stalls in the men’s bathroom in the lobby of the auditorium. And tell Mr. Simmons that he has been defamed there.

On this day...

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Jeff Noble

Jeff is the pastor of Northstar Church in Blacksburg, Virginia. He grew up in Arkansas, loves fantasy football and is an Apple fan boy. Follow him on Twitter or Instagram @journeyguy.
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