It’s been a crazy past week here at the Noble household trying to get our school routine down. Car-pooling, kids’ activities and sports, photography shoots, meetings and out-of-town trips have taxed our one-car, no-scooter strategy. We’ve put it off as long as we can, so…

This weekend we’ll be doing some serious scooter shopping. My Pastor’s Scooter Fund only netted about $140 to date, and we’ll be using that and most likely financing the rest. We can do one-car-one-scooter. We just have failed at doing one-car-eight-legs.

Rest assured, I will rig up some kind of remote explosive device on this scooter that can be detonated through my iPhone. So any thieves better think twice about stealing this one. It will also come equipped with a seat that can be remotely activated to release booty bugs that will crawl into one’s booty and cause lifetime, irreversible damage should someone ride it that is unauthorized. Oh yeah. You think I’m kidding…

And then I’ve also finished inventing a helmet that will suck all oxygen away from its wearer. 

Too bad I wasn’t prepared with Ghost.

I don’t know what this scooter will be named, but we may have a Name That Scooter Contest locally. I’ll post pictures as soon as we’ve settled on a purchase. We’ve learned over the past two months that scooter prices have gone up. Go figure. If Exxon can’t get us, Honda will. Dadgummit.

On this day...

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Jeff Noble

Jeff is the pastor of Northstar Church in Blacksburg, Virginia. He grew up in Arkansas, loves fantasy football and is an Apple fan boy. Follow him on Twitter or Instagram @journeyguy.
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