Some people have annual yard sales… we have yard fires. Or so Carolyn tells me. Actually, it’s been a few years since my last major yard fire. That was back in my PB days (pre-blog). Thank goodness. But suffice it to say, that the entire Monticello Fire Department, including volunteers in several monster trucks, showed up at our house on Tanglewood then to douse what I’d started. The yard (and neighborhood.. and forest behind our house) was saved.

However, this past Saturday was a simpler affair. We were burning pine straw and some trash and things were fine. No problems. All under control. Then Caro goes to Wal-Mart, and I tell Sam to take a few pizza boxes out and throw them on the smoldering fire. Then Sam sits down to play Madden, and I go to the dining room to do some sermon preparation.

A few moments later, I hear Sam exclaim in 8 year-old panic, “Oh no!” and then he proceeds to run out of the house to the side yard without a word of explanation. Curiously, I walked over to the windows and gazed out in his direction. I exclaim, in 37 year-old panic, “Oh shoot!” and take off outside as well.

The fence was on fire.

Carolyn’s picket fence. Do I need to say more? Apparently the pizza boxes had gotten blown off the fire and got caught on the fence.

Anyway, Sam had the hose on it and was putting it out by the time I got out there. I was, for a moment, more proud of Sam than I was scared of Carolyn’s reaction when she returned. But that lasted only for a moment. Then reality sunk in.

I drug Sam’s baseball back stop over in front of the fence to perhaps hide the damage and suppress the evidence, and then with the excitement over, and our testosterone levels back to normal, we gave each other “high fives” and went back inside, deciding to play Madden.

And that’s where she found us.Dsc00530

“I thought I told you to watch the fire!” she gently comments, while running her fingers suggestively through my hair… Uh, OK, maybe that was what I wished had happened.

Anyway, nuff said. You get the picture.

Moral of the story: When ordering pizza, consider your fence row.

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